He Pinched My Fat… and other gym tales

So I had been sick and not going to the gym. Lame all over. Yes. well, I made it in two days in a row and they were adventure-tastic times.

First, the locker room. I know it is all ladies. I know that we all have the same bits. That does not mean that I want to see any of yours. I had one lady who had her panties roll down her booty while she was changing. She did not care. Bent over to get stuff out of her bag. Ugh. Amusingly, her panties had “PAY ATTENTION” on the butt. Blech. Then there was the topless woman applying lotion. *le sigh* Those were the flashers. One on Monday, one today. Today also brought this woman who came in, plopped her stuff down and then belched. Not burp. BELCHED. Like one that would have made Barney Gumble proud. Sheesh.

Out on the floor today, there were also Those Guys. They come in multiples, this time a pair. I knew this pair, I had seen them before. Both were pretty muscly, but one was kinda scraggly cute while the other was crew-cut with glasses. Not sure if he was military, something about him struck me as not, but I am not sure what it was. They are the pair that go around the weight room, grunting and groaning and “ONE MORE! I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN YOU!” and then dropping weights and slamming things around. They also do not re-rack the weights. I had to re-rack four 45lb-ers. And they watched. Did not help. Nice. But it was amusing when Glasses Guy was doing something or other and Scraggle came over and said “What? Only 10??” Heh.

I also liked this one guy that was going back and forth in front of the gym doing little hop-skip things. He changed it up every few times until he was hopping really high. I was impressed.

Then, the highlight, there is a new trainer. Blonde guy with a heavy Eastern European accent. Like hardcore Arnold in the early days. On Monday, he was hanging out by the check in counter area. He asked if I had seen that they were doing the Turkey Trot Challenge. (It’s an annual thing they do, person that loses the most weight and the one that travels the most miles wins four months free membership.) I told him I had and that I wasn’t interested. Most people would have dropped it. He was all “Why?” The real reason is that I am not all that interested in a weight loss competition. I just told him I wasn’t. I was also in a hurry to get working out and did not want to talk about it. I felt bad later because I think I may have said that I was not interested in Bitch Voice on accident. After my workout he asked if I had a good workout and bid me farewell, so I guess he did not take to much offense.

Today. Oh today. I saw him as I was leaving. He was talking to another trainer in one of the offices, so I smiled and waved because I am friendly, dammit. He gets up and walks over to talk to me, which I was not expecting. He asked how many miles I did and I told him that it was about three, but it was elliptical miles. He wanted to know if I was weight training at all. I told him I was and he wanted to know if I cardio before or after. I told him before and he said “No… you have to do weights first. It’s better. Please do that.” And he even put his hands together like he was begging me when he said the please part. I said I don’t like to do that because then my cardio sucks. He said “well, just remember cardio is not the only thing you need, if you want to lose this [at which point he pinched my tricep-area fat] you need to strength train too.” I told him I knew, bid him farewell and departed.

As I was walking away, all I could think was “he pinched my fat. In the middle of the gym,” but it was amusing. I was giggling to myself over it. I was really amused. I’m not sure if it is because he was foreign, or at least sounded it, or because he was just trying to help and never thought that touching someone like that is usually a no-no, but I was really just amused. And at least he did not grab tummy fat. Ha!

So, while the week is young, those are my gym stories. Also, I worked out and could feel the 10 sick days I was off. Good times!

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