So over the past year or so, I have gotten a lot better at a lot of things. I have become stronger and faster at biking and running. I have dabbled in weight training and swimming.
I am amazed at the accomplishments of my body.
I remember running for two minutes and wanting to collapse.
I remember biking 10 miles and having rubber legs.
I can now run more than a mile and bike 20.
This is all fantastic. I just wish my body would be less.
Most of ya know that I began all this for health and all that jazz, but also to lose a little bit of myself. That was a nice way to say “drop some weight.”
At the beginning I did, but it was a super shock to my system. I also had more willpower when it came to the noms. Lately, I have been staying the same or losing the same five or so. Off and on, off and on… that is not winning. This is due to two things, both of which come down to my lack of willpower.
As far as exercising goes, I have been doing the same thing at the most, but typically less. Although sometimes it is because life gets in the way and I can’t fit it in or I sleep poorly and must sleep, a good majority of the time is because I have no interest in doing it. My brain does not want to do it. I have a very hard time with mind games. Typically, I give in. I find reasons not to go. I promise myself I will do it later and run out of time. I read many a blog and know many a person that train hard for events. I always wonder how they can do it. The simple answer is that they commit to it. They do it. I need more drive and am not sure how to get it.
Then there is the food. This is the part that kicks my butt. Hard. When I went vegan for a month I mentioned some of the benefits and that I would try and keep to it. I also mentioned that I wanted to keep away from processed crap. I’m not sure if it is because I gave myself lee-way or because of the effort it takes, but I have been failing on the food front.
In order to stay on top of this, be it a vegan or a clean diet, there is a lot of work. Or maybe I just make it a lot of work. Produce must be prepped and food cooked. It also tends to get a bit boring if I don’t keep looking. It is a new way to live, I suppose. Once I get used to doing it, I would probably be better at it. I tend to get bored with what I have or overwhelmed with having to keep prepping food. Then I order pizza. Or Chinese take out. Usually, it is on the weekends.
During the week, I am stuck at work with the good food I have prepped. Typically, I make it home without eating crap and I have something good for dinner. Then, the weekend arrives and I get lazy. My lunch is not prepared… so I buy it. Or I am out of veggies because I prepped them for work. I would have to *gasp* go to the store! Or I could call the nice men at the take out place… they bring me food. Sometimes, I end up eating random things, like tater tots, instead.
I am not sure what kept me on track during March. Not sure if it was because it was novel or if it was because it had an expiration date. I don’t think that allowing myself to eat some crap is helping much. I don’t think I have the mental fortitude for regular “cheat days” or even “cheat things.”
The thing that annoys me is that I am constantly saying “I AM STARTING OVER FOR REAL THIS TIME!” and I hate when other people do that. Hypocrite? Well, I suppose. Hopefully, I can attack this vegan thing with a new vengeance and pick back up on the moving around thing.